No one likes a Nark

I had an experience the other day that elevated me to the mother level of adulthood. Yes, I've been a mother for nearly seven years, but not often have I been faced with a dilemma like this.

Mr. E has come home from school on occasion with tales of an older bully who teases and calls names on the way home. Part of me responds to these reports with a desire for him to buck up and move on. Another part of me wants to fix it by cornering that kid with a good ol' lecture. But even with these instinctive responses, I know if it was me in the situation I would feel a little hurt, move on and eventually forget about it. Or maybe never forget about it, but be bitter nonetheless having no support or knowledge on how to change the situation.

As the mother of the picked on one, I found myself overcoming my fear of confrontation and speaking to the principal about it. There was a day last week where the bullying had escalated from teasing to borderline abuse and I felt that an intervention was in order. Again, though, if it had been me I would have come home, been shocked and disturbed and moved on, most likely with some emotional baggage. I recognized that by doing nothing I would give Mr. E the go-ahead to not come to me & that his default would end up just like mine. I did not want this!

So, I bucked up.  It wasn't that painful. And I felt like an adult, but even more significant I felt like a good mom. I stood up for kindness that day & even told Mr. E that was the reason I went to the principal--being kind is important to me & I never want to hear of Mr. E treating someone else that way. It may be true that no one likes a nark, but sometimes you need to be disliked to teach--and learn--important lessons.