Perspective

I'm turning a year older on Wednesday. For obvious reasons a birthday provides a chance to reflect and ponder on one's life. I have had a good one. I have always had good people in my life that cared, nurtured and encouraged. I, however, did not always recognize it as such. Recently I've read through some journals that were recorded by me in a previous life. I say previous because it is hard to remember that I was as negative, dramatic, and boy-crazy as I am portrayed. How did I not realize that my future self would mock and disdainfully read these things? What a riot, really. If you have not perused your dear diary chronicles from your previous life recently, you really must. It's better than reality tv. Perhaps because it was real. Or was it?

Now that many years have passed I can see that some of the things I complained about were simply not founded in any truth. I often complained about my mother not caring about me and even went as far to say 'recently she hasn't even acknowledged that I'm her daughter.' Seriously? How does one not acknowledge that the young person living under the same roof is not her daughter? Does that imply that I wanted her to go around stating matter-of-factly that I was indeed her daughter? There were also continual references to nothing ever going my way and me never getting what I wanted. However, I failed to ever mention what it was that I wanted. A sense of well patterned logic was obviously missing from my 15 year old self.

It is a good thing we all grow up, but was that real? My juvenile attitude would certainly come at you strong if you stated otherwise. Those problems and complaints were real to me at the time. It is only because I have experienced more, cried over bigger trials, loved at a deeper level & plead with my Father in Heaven with greater needs since then that those circumstances seem so trivial.

All this pondering and reminiscing has made me laugh, incited giant rolls of the eyes and even caused some pain but mostly it's made me grateful. I am grateful for the healing & maturing balm that time offers & I am also grateful that I am no longer that person I found in my journals. I hope my life shows that we all have the ability to grow, forgive and be better.

This is the wisdom that perspective has given me. And I hope in time, it will give me even more.