(me & my sisters...1981...baby sister who died at birth & brother were born later)I began some new-year organizing and de-cluttering & came upon this gem. This snapshot froze me in my tracks. Those are all my sisters! I kept staring in wonder at all of us. Then it dawned on me, I am Eli's age in this picture. I couldn't keep my mind from comparing all the differences of his life and mine at 5. I had so many siblings! I never knew what life was like as an only child. I came into this world with 4 older sisters who were like mini moms. Within a couple of years I had younger siblings to mother myself. The concept of being alone would not even hit my radar until I left for college at age 18! What a difference.
The comparisons didn't stop there. I soon connected the dots to realize my mom was my age when this picture was taken. Holy moly! Eight children. At my age. I still feel like I'm trying to grow up & can't imagine trying to help my oldest, a 13 yr. old, navigate through the awkward teen years. How vastly different my mom's life was at my age. The concept of alone time wouldn't hit her radar until her youngest was on a mission. What a difference.
All these comparisons and realizations overwhelmed me. For a minute I was sad and my eyes became wet. Before the tears could form, however, I was buoyed up by a new realization. That was my mom's life & not mine. She married young, had many children and her trials have come in a variety of ways. She is an amazing person & raising 9 children is just a small tidbit on her resume of accomplishments.
My life is much different than hers. I married much later & of course have not had the ability to bear as many children. In that instance as I kept staring at this photo, I felt a new sense of wonderment in my own life plan. I was dealt an entirely different hand than my mom. My experiences were meant for me & hers were meant for her. I could wish all day or cry all night about my wish for Eli to have lots of siblings, but simply stated, it is not how it is.
What I have is how it is. Taking what I have been dealt and knowing that it is how it is meant to be gives me confidence & peace.
What a difference that makes.
6 comments:
Great post, Mariah! Your mom is amazing and you are too. I'm thankful to read both of your blogs. Thanks for the perspective. :)
Beautiful! I couldn't have said it better. Accepting your own situation and loving it is what living in Truth is all about! I love you!
What a nice post. I remember you all looking like that and your old living room. Glad we can embrace the lives we are given!
Mariah you have a gift with words. Thank you for sharing. I hope you all are doing well we miss you guys!
what an adorable picture of you all. i sure appreciate your perspective. constantly i am reminded in different ways of the dangers in comparing myself or my life to others. it is almost always a bad idea. i hope you are well.
You go girl!
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